Making the Connection

Nearly 4 years ago, I went vegetarian for health reasons. You don't need to search very hard or far to learn that meat is not good for you. Cutting it out of my diet was surprisingly easy, as I hardly ever made anything with meat at home, and only indulged in it if I was eating out.
My then boyfriend (now husband) Michael was quite surprised with my declared change in food-choices, but went along with it. He was living on a college-diet that looked like this:
Breakfast: cereal with milk
Lunch: PB & J(s)
Dinner: Pastaroni
+Plus the occasional cheeseburger and ice cream.

One day, over eating a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch with 1%, he looked down at his bowl and said, "This can't be good for you. Milk is so cheap (government subsidies) and people drink so much (factory farming), it has got to cause cancer. Or something."
I chuckled to myself over this dramatic statement, and then stopped and thought about it. Wait a second. He has a good point. It (was) only $1.50/gallon and there was so much of it...it was like a white wall in the back of the grocery store. It made me think, what made the first person go up to a cow's tit and start squeezing it? Was it really the perfect, irreplaceable strong-bone food that we are taught to believe, or are we all just victims of good marketing? And it kept coming back to me...Why cows milk? [A few years later I read "The China Study" by Dr. T. Collin Campbell, which explains the connection that Michael had intuitively made between dairy and cancer, among other things. I highly recommend that book to anyone who cares about making the connection and saving their life from preventable diseases.]


I started feeling a huge shift in my perspective, and was drawn to articles and books that taught more about the benefits of a animal-less diet. It wasn't long before I became rooted in my beliefs, as I had more than one strong reason to go vegan: health, environment, ethics. Raw (not cooking your food) was just the icing on the vegan cake...cooking denatures the nutrients in your food, like, duh. :)

Below is an hour-long presentation, eloquently given by Melanie Joy about "Carnism." I implore you to please watch the whole thing, with an open mind about different perspectives about the one thing that we all have in common: food choices.
She poses some very important questions: Why do we eat chicken but not swan? Why do we eat pig but not guinea pig? Why do we drink cows milk but not horses milk? And most importantly, why do we not ask why?
No matter your current diet, this talk will resonate with you. Do yourself this favor and watch it. 

This is the last time I'll ever eat...

Lately I've gotten into the nasty habit of starting sentences in my head with these 8 little devilish words: This is the last time I'll ever eat...
These 8 little words pack quite the punch; they have rationalized not-the-best-habits in my pre-fasting days, when I really should be eating even better, and working out even harder.

Without a doubt, I am committed to 80-10-10. I have educated myself, I have felt the difference in my own life, I even strive to make my income out of helping others with this lifestyle. However, in these last few days, it feels like I am letting go of a lifetime of food habit. Pasta. Bread. Mashed potatoes. Rice. Cookies. Chex mix. Chips. Foods that I haven't touched in nearly 2 years suddenly look so incredibly good to me, simply because it is "the last chance" to eat them.

This rationalization is just plain stupid. First of all, there is a reason I quit those foods 2 years ago: They weren't getting me where I wanted to go. What makes me think that that has changed? Did someone flip a switch that says, "ta da! These foods love you back now!" I don't think so.

Second of all, I make food choices every day. Fasting won't take away my food choices. I will still have the choice of what to put in my mouth every day of the year, for the rest of my life. The "chance" to eat those foods isn't going away, I will just be smarter to know what is best for me...which leads me to my third point.

Thirdly, I know what foods my body is designed to thrive on now: simple carbohydrates aka fruit. This is no secret. All of the tempting foods listed above are (surprise surprise) complex carbs. My body is screaming at me for carbs because carbs = energy. Simple carbs are the best because they are assimilated the fastest, are clean, and come perfectly packaged with vitamins, minerals, fiber and water. Your body works extra hard to break down complex carbs into usable energy. Not to mention, complex carbs don't taste very good unless they are packed down with condiments (SALT).

I know all of this stuff and I still tamper with these foods?? I think my problem is I live in the future. I dream of "knowing" or "doing" or "living" perfectly ..."someday" when I have the tools, the information, and the reason to do these things today. Right now.

It's like, why give up on something just because it is going to take time to accomplish it? That time is going to pass anyway...

To Read or Not To Read

As I approach my fast (10 days away), I am debating if I should bring books on my trip.

On the one hand, I absolutely love to read. I love learning. I love news. I love articles. I love youtube. I am constantly absorbing information, to the point where I am second guessing my habit. To fast means to rest, in every sense of the world (physiologically, psychologically, emotionally, sensory). If I abstain from food, but continue taking in words, then I am not truly fasting.

Having said that, 2 months is a long time, and I won't be fasting for the entirety of it...so what's wrong with bringing some good literature along? Nothing...except that I'll be in freaking Costa Rica!!...where I should be taking in the nature and picking the brain of Dr. Graham, not reading a book that I can read any other day of the year!

I would regrettably describe myself now as deeply deeply entrenched in my habit of constantly needing to be stimulated by information. Checking my phone, playing with the radio, looking up articles, and listening to youtube (all simultaneously even) is not unusual behavior for me. [Ironically, just a few days ago I ordered 7 new books from Amazon that I had been watching, waiting til their prices dropped before ordering them.] I am anxiously awaiting my return when I will crack them open, however I am thinking that it would be much more beneficial for me to bring a pen and paper, not a bound book on my excursion.

The only book that I do plan on taking is my inked up copy of The 80-10-10 Diet by Dr. Graham. Okay, and Fasting and Subathing by Dr. Shelton on my phone. That's it. And mostly those are just for easy reading while on the plane/16 hour layovers both ways. I (of course) will be hooked up to the airport wi-fi, and I have plenty of entertainment saved on my computer, however I don't want to ruin my rest by not resting...so suffice it to say that for the overwhelming majority of my trip, I will be "un-hooked." No facebook. No youtube. No NPR. No Today Show. No movies. No "Modern Family" or "Family Guy." (Mostly) no gmail. (Mostly) no phone. (Mostly) no reading. Lots on introspection, journaling, blogging, and meditation. Oh yes, and LOTS of sleeping. And sunshine. And learning. And playing.

I don't believe that technology/media/internet is inherently bad; I do believe that you make it wasteful through over-consumption, of which I am definitely guilty of.

Plus one :)

In case you're not completely sick of me ranting about how excited I am about Costa Rica...keep reading...because it just got SO much better!

 It was just confirmed to me that my very good friend Jennelle will also be attending the same event!
Jennelle and I both grew up in Western Mass., a few towns away. I went to high school in Easthampton, and she went to high school in Northampton, a popular local "hang out" spot. We even knew some of the same people, although our lives never crossed when I was living there.

I was 18 when I moved out west, and it wasn't until I was 21 when I started adopting a low-fat raw vegan diet, which almost goes without saying that I signed up on the popular forum 30bananasaday.com. It wasn't long until I started reading Jennelle's entertaining and heart-felt blog entries, as she was posting regularly about her life and struggles transitioning to raw in the winter. When I saw that she was living in Northampton, MA, I contacted her. I wished so badly that we could meet in person! That we could live closer and help support each other! For the next year we kept in touch online...and in August 2012 I got my wish and we met at the Woodstock Fruit Festival in upstate New York!

Jennelle (left) and I (right) munching on some yummy durian fruit at the festival

We were basically inseparable for those 9 days: sharing a bunk bed, going to nearly all of the same classes/lectures, dances, sitting next to each other at meals, bon fires, etc. We both listened to Dr. Graham lecture about the benefits of fasting and turned to each other and said, "I wanna do that!"

Among the many things we have in common, we've both had continuous "female issues" since puberty. We were both placed on hormonal birth control when we were 12 and 13 to regulate our cycles, and have both been on it for over 9 years. I had surgery at age 13 because of ovarian cysts, and being on birth control was the only answer (or so I thought). Whenever I went off, havoc was wreaked, and the pain was unbearable. Jennelle also had surgery, was told that the pill was her only option, and she's suffered negative side affects whenever she goes off of it.

Since being raw vegan for over a year now, I have stopped taking birth control and (quite miraculously to me) have not had any cyst issues. Her story is a lot more serious than mine, as she has been diagnosed with endometriosis, an extremely painful, "un-curable" gyno disease. I have no doubt that both of us [but especially Jennelle] will gain health, including menstrual regularity, by fasting.

It goes without saying that we both cannot wait to reunite for an entire month in tropical paradise. I am hoping to be able to blog throughout the entire experience, although I am not completely sure I will be up for it/if the internet connection will be good. Regardless, I will be journaling and plan on posting all of our adventures/results here. Cheers!

What's your type??

I had the pleasure of hosting my sister this weekend, as she was visiting from Houston. Among many things that we were able to talk about, she shared with me her Myer's Briggs Personality Type. The MB Test is a Personality test that  can tell you a lot about yourself. You first need to answer a quick questionnaire which you can find  here.

Yeah yeah, you're thinking big whoop. Personality test. I've taken a few before and they've never told me anything. Well, this one is different. Be as honest as you possibly can with yourself when answering the questions, and I'm sure the accuracy of the results will surprise you! The MB Test is widely known and acknowledged as the standard in personality tests. Plus, who doesn't get a kick out of a little bit of self-appreciation and enlightenment??

I tested as an ENFJ, which stands respectively for, "Extrovert, Intuition, Feeling, Judging." I am an extrovert, meaning I enjoy social atmospheres, however I balance that with my needs for alone time. I don't like to be the center of attention, and I make [somewhat spontaneous] decisions based on personal values, and whatever feels right. I am always seeking harmony, and am very sympathetic and compassionate (that explains why it was so easy for me to adopt a vegan lifestyle) and am definitely a people pleaser. The judge in me likes to keep an organized living space, and values punctuality and order.

With your assessment, you can google your type and find all sorts of strengths, weaknesses, skills, relationship types, work environments, etc. that fit you. I found all of the results under ENFJ to be extremely (almost scarily) right on par with who I am.

Ask your family and friends what their type is, and be blown away with what you discover! It might even help you understand why you have a hard time getting along with someone you love, or what it is about them that you fundamentally don't understand...or maybe it will help explain your expectations of your peers, or your endless drive towards perfectionism...
So... What's your type??

The Naysayers

Everyone has critics. [If most people are honest with themselves, they would say that their worst critic is themselves.] No matter who says what, all they are doing is giving you a reason to prove them wrong. Focus on what is in front of you, not on what is behind you.
Positive Mental Attitude Regardless.

I certainly am not immune to criticism. The more someone knows me personally, the more it stings. I take it in, and I would love to spit it out, but somewhere in between it gets absorbed and affects my deepest self-thoughts.

Costa Rica is destined to be an unforgettable, life-changing event in my life. It is worth its face value just for the one-on-one time with Dr. Graham and the epic tropical fruit. Combine that with the supervised fast and $12,000 is a steal for these 2 months in paradise.

I have to remind myself that everyone who doubts the success of my investment has not taken the time to educate themselves. They are speaking passionately with all of the facts that they have. If I hadn't gone out of my way to find the truth, then their words would rip me apart. However, I have never been more confident in my endeavor towards health, in my strengthening of good habits, and of my positive direction. You cannot put a price tag on perfect health, and I will not be made to feel insecure because of my investment.

Healthy Procrastination

I think it is safe to say that I have a problem with procrastination.
My mother would whole heartedly agree, as would my husband.
Yesterday I sat down for 15 minutes straight and wrote down my goals, everything from "do a perfect cartwheel" to "finish the CLC program in 4 years (2016)" and everything in between.
Just putting it down on paper was a huge step for me, something that I've neglected for far too long.
Another one of my goals was to consistently contribute to this blog :) no matter how far away I am from my "home base" in Utah. As long as I have internet, I will write, and as long as there are Starbucks with free wifi, I will have internet. No excuses.

Another one of my goals was to "stop procrastinating the good stuff." In other words, I can still procrastinate to my hearts desire (because what is more satisfying than NOT doing something), but simply procrastinate doing the pointless, habitual, time killing activities....and by NOT doing the bad, it only leaves room to DO the good/neutral.

For example, instead of saying to myself, "well, I really should go for a run/punch the punching bag/lift weights/jump rope right now...but I'll just watch ONE episode of Mad Men first..." I would say, "I'm going to invest in myself by being active right NOW, and put off watching some TV til later." See? Still procrastinating! I'm just putting off the not-so-important/it-will-always-be-there stuff for the uplifting, mind changing stuff that I really want to do.

By telling myself I should or shouldn't, I'm indirectly telling myself "Shame on you. You didn't do what you should've done with your time." I'm replacing that with "Relax, you DID do something that made you a better person, you managed your time efficiently."

See, Mom! Procrastinating is good! I'm putting off being lazy for taking action right now!

Work Preferences

I have been thinking a lot about my 2013 work schedule...what I want to be doing, where I want to be going, what I value in a job, what line of work is more aligned with natural hygiene and allows me to adopt a more active lifestyle...

I am choosing between 2 amazing, but very different jobs, both of which I am currently juggling. Up until last night I hadn't even considered quitting one. I asked my husband, "what would YOU do?" and he said that he would probably just choose one. That got me thinking...he has an excellent point. If both jobs were down the street from each other, well then that would be easy. But they are both about 20 miles from my house, and 25 miles from each other. That equates to over an hour and a half of driving between jobs right now. That's a long time when your working 45 hours a week and wanting to squeeze more ME time in!

I wrote down a list of what I require of myself post-fasting with my work schedule, mostly to prevent the extreme exhaustion that I am experiencing now:
1) Get at least 8 hours of sleep every night (10PM-6AM)
2) Work out 3-5 times a week, at a GYM
3) Work 40-45 hours a week at chosen job
4) See more Michael; breakfasts and dinners preferably

Working as a Customer Service Agent at doTERRA and as a farm worker for Bell Organics both have been amazing jobs with incredible perks. (I feel lucky just to have a choice in this!)
They are both very flexible, I love the people I work with in both jobs, I have high job satisfaction with both jobs, both jobs pay comparably the same, and I get free product/food at both jobs. What's not to love??
Well, I despise working at a computer for 8 hours a day, sitting.
From working a few long days on the farm, I also am not a huge fan of feeling sore. This is preventable as I will be in better shape in 2013, so that's almost not a factor. Plus, being outside pretty much cancels out the inevitable hard work of bending over backwards (literally) on the farm.

So the clincher is basically, what job is more aligned with natural hygiene? Well that's obvious: the farm! It is a lot more "natural" for humans to be doing physical labor all day, outdoors rain or shine, breathing fresh air, being involved in food creation, than it is for humans to be crouched over a desk staring at a bright screen with loud conversations droning out any sense of sanity. Like, duh. 

Monday Blues

Monday blues (for me) are usually related to the weekend rush...the feeling of smashing as much ____(insert current stress release food)______ into my body as possible, followed possibly by some contemplation of a purging episode.....combined with a confusing sleep cycle.....combined with dread for the upcoming week. Note to self: this happens consistently. This is not a surprise nor a shock. This is not what I want. This is not how I want to live.
It has become so predictable, it seems (to me) inevitable. Like, why would I even try to NOT behave this way when I know I am going to do it all anyways....better to do what I know will happen then to set goals and fail. NO! I need to step out of this mentality if I am going to ever thrive! I know this! What is my deal?!
Dr. Graham says that Motivation = Knowledge x Perceived Need. If you have all of the knowledge in the world (me) and multiply it by zero need, then that equals a big fat 0. I DO have needs, and I would argue that it IS more painful for me to stay in my rut then it is to change, but obviously that isn't true because I HAVEN'T CHANGED.
What I need to, and have been meaning to do for a long time now is write down all of my goals. Just write it out! So simple! I need to give myself a solid 15 minutes of just writing out my aspirations, no matter how ridiculous they may sound or seem, just write them out.
I am the Queen of Procrastination. Although it has gotten better since high school, I still prioritize in a lopsided manner, according to what I want...right now. Darn Americanism.
But, again as Dr. G says: Everyday is a new installment. Everyday is a new beginning. You get a fresh start every day.
Goal # 1: Reinstate goals everyday, no matter the day of the week. Mondays are good, but Fridays are better.

Costa Rica can't come fast enough!

I really wish I could just fast forward to January 4th, be packed, ready to go, and leave for my imminent health adventure in Costa Rica. If only I could fast forward through the holidays, the stress, the out-of-season fruit, the cold, the awkward family scenarios where no one understands my chosen lifestyle (and I'm not the most flawless picture of health to represent it).
I am driving myself into the ground with my work, and have felt the adrenal stress for months now. Work will finally be slowing down on the farm with the last week of the CSA next week; meanwhile work at doTERRA is just starting to get insane. I hope to be able to (finally) find time for the gym between my 40-45 hour work weeks in December, which was wholly unrealistic during my 60+ hour work weeks in September/October/November. It is difficult to balance my need for money (to pay off the CLC Program solo) and my need for health and fitness. It is ironic because the CLC Program I am doing partially for MY health, and in doing it, my health has declined. There is something backwards about this!
I know someone out there has their arms crossed and is smirking saying, "You have to MAKE time. There is enough time in the day. You just have to prioritize." And to that I would mentally flip them off and then sigh and say, "...I know." It is all about priorities. It is all about time management. It is all about working smarter not harder (queue Durianrider...).

As much as I wish I could skip the Holidays and jump to a nice warm sunny day in the jungles of Costa Rica, I also get anxious thinking about what great leaps in health I might NOT experience (pre and post fasting) because I am not taking the time now to 1) establish good (enough) habits 2) sort out my emotions 3) exercise regularly 4) lose what weight I can pre-fast. My goal weight is 105-110 lbs. My current weight is hovering around 145 lbs.
All of this sounds so practical in my head, and so vain written down. I promise I'm not as vain as I sound. I do not promise that I have perfect body image. But I do promise that my goals are realistic, healthy, and within the optimum body fat % for my height.
Thanksgiving is down, Christmas and New Years is left to go. One more month. I can do this.